30 Days Of Motherhood

Sunday, 19 July 2015

My video below. 

My personal philosophy: "Do the best you can." Sounds quite simple huh? Well when it comes down to it that's all we can really ask of ourselves. I wake up each morning and tell myself this, not to climb the world's largest mountains but to improve the smaller things in my life one step at a time.
To me life is about learning, not so much so that I have my head buried in books 24/7 but to allow myself room to grow. I dream of living to 100 years old, sitting on my porch, listening to the waves crashing on the shore and know that I did the best I could in my life, for myself and my loved ones. I want to be the best role model for my family.

One of the many finer details of my personal philosophy includes self love. Not only to love myself but I want those that I love to love themselves as well. And now that I am a mother one of my biggest desires is for my child to love himself. And for that to happen I need to lead by example. So, how can I have unconditional love for myself? As many of us do, I struggled with accepting my appearance. Now I'll be honest, not vein, I am fortunate to be good looking,  better yet have all my limbs and be healthy. However, why do I pick myself to pieces every time I look into a mirror? Why is my appearance so important to me? No one else worries. They see a person, Dana, not the ... I'm not even going to bother listing everything I would have changed about myself. So how was I going to rid myself of all these horrible thoughts. I've tried many techniques, avoiding social media, positive affirmations, giving my negative thoughts a name and becoming her best friend, figuring out where these insecurities have come from, seeing specialist of many kinds, the list goes on. 

Unaware of my next step being my next step I decided to video myself for 30 days. No particular time of the day, just when I got the chance,  regardless of how I was feeling. Some days happy, some days tired, some sad. I decided to add the song Try by Cobie Colbait because it is the song I play most mornings whilst having a shower. A bit of morning inspiration. Every few days I was watching the footage. In the beginning I was tearing myself to pieces but surprisingly by about day 10 I started to come to terms with me. I actually started seeing me. Not my imperfections, not even the things I thought were of my "better side". I started to accept myself, amongst all the joy and smiles, tiredness and tears. I began to see Dana for the first time as far back as I can remember. I could see strength and courage. 

Motherhood is a testing time, and testing times are when we human beings tend to learn the most. During my "30 days of motherhood" through simply allowing myself to actually look at myself with all judgement aside I have learnt how to love myself. Sure those cruel thoughts try to make their way back into my mind but now I have the awareness to observe them and let them go. Maybe this little experiment of mine might help others? So I'm sharing it for the possibility. For people to know "it's okay." Not because I said so, not because somebody else has said so, but because you have said so. 

With love

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Hannah fighting for paradise said...

I just have to tell you this now: even though you weren't smiling every day you are so gorgeous! You are beautiful and an absolutely amazing mummy! Rexie can be glad to have you and you can be glad to have him because he is so cute too!
I just really love your Instagram Account and your sister's too as I love doing yoga.

Keep going and keep loving yourself because you are so worth it, Dana! :)

Kisses, Hannah ♥

Barb Macdonald said...

I am certainly going to try this starting the next wk when my husband Flys out for work.
I'm not sure about you D but I always feel so lost without my hubby that 1st wk & my eldest son who is almost 4 has always struggled that 1st wk too he is off his food acts out with bad behavior very clingy with me & isn't completely his whole self till his Dad comes home , my youngest is almost 2 so I'm wondering if he will experience the same emotions and if they notice each other feeling the same way & support each other through it to make there brotherhood bond even stronger.
I also struggle with if I am being a good enough Mum and stepping up to the plate of the Dad role and often punish myself for not doing a good enough job and what can I do better for them tomorrow, I find myself whispering in there ears while they are sound asleep' I promise I'll be a better Mummy tomorrow '
So I think this will actually let me look at me and not be to hard on myself.
Thanks for sharing it's nice to get inspiration from other Mums.

Barb Macdonald said...
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Celesteclk said...

Thank you for doing this! Being a new mother myself to a beautiful little 3 month old daughter is very rewarding, I love it and her so much. Although I am not perfect and I can relate to this video and I got emotional :( some days kick your butt and some days are the best ones you've experienced to date. You are a brave and beautiful human for doing this and being you. I like following you on Instagram your an inspiration and your son is gorgeous. Xx

Considering Life simply. said...

Beautiful Dana. Sums up the rawness of being a mum and a woman and all the conflicts in between. You're a super star in all your beautiful imperfect perfectness!! Thanks for sharing your clip! And ps. Swanking hot milk boobies!

Travel's First Step said...

I admire your bravery and strength for not only recognising your challenges D, but taking them on. I love seeing the beautiful images of you and your son on your other sites. Experience tells me that as you more deeply develop your inner connection, your connections with him, and all of your loved ones will deepen too.

Brooke Dugan said...

D, I have been following you since before you had your beautiful baby boy, and I wanted to tell you that I truly admire the strength and courage that you have while raising Rexie. He is so lucky to have such a beautiful mama, inside and out. Thank you for sharing these clips!

Kell said...

Hi Dana,

I have been following both you and your sister on Instagram for a while now and I have found you both to be so inspiring to me!you have both motivated me to be the best that I can be.
Watching your video inspired me even more. I miscarried my first child a little over a month ago and have thought that it is not something I can grieve over. And unfortunately my "surroundings" have insisted in this too. And I guess what I am trying to say here is that you have opened my eyes to see that it is okay to not be okay sometimes and that it is hard to keep that smile on your face all the time.
You are admirable to me and you push me to be the best I can be. Influencing me to get rid of toxicity in my life and be free. Be ME!
It is a bit of an essay but I really wanted to thank you. You and Elle.
Your video touched me on another level, had a cry and for the first time in a while... I feel okay. A sincere and truthful okay.
So thank you Dana!
Thank you so, so much!!

Anonymous said...

D, I've been following you and Elle for a while now. I loved watching your pregnancy and now motherhood and I've watching Elle morph into a teacher and mentor... You've both become such inspirational women. This video is yet another example of that. I am a new mum and my work requires Nero be away from my little man (who is about five months older than your Rex) for the next six months... I cry, I laugh, I sleep but mostly I feel so terribly guilty and Luke a bad mum. Thankyou for sharing this - in all its rawness, honesty, and beauty. Please know that you're touching many people's lives... I'm going to try this for myself, and whilst I think I'll probably have a lot of ugly-crying face- I'm going to try to accept that for what it is: the beauty of my love for my family. Thankyou for having the courage to share and inspire.
Again and again, thank you.
EJ xx

Anonymous said...

I watched your video and cried (and smiled). It took me back to those first few weeks after having my baby last year. Those weeks were wild- thanks to sleep deprivation, huge body adjustments and not knowing what I was doing but doing it anyway, as you also say.
I love your bare-faced, emotional honesty here on your blog and instagram.
M x