30 things breast feeding mothers can relate to

Friday, 26 June 2015

1. Letting your "small boob" fill up whilst bub drains your "big boob" so they look even in a bikini.

2. Quietly releasing their bite so you don't wake them up. Secretly screaming inside! Those tooth marks are scary.

3. When you're in the shower, trying to see how far your milk can squirt.

4. Waking up to a wet bed because you thought "I don't need to wear a bra!"

5. The look bub gives you when you're pumping one boob whilst bub is feeding off the other. "Hey?!! What are you doing with my boob?!!"

6. When they don't latch on properly so you try and push the rest of the nipple in their mouth.

7. When everyone gets annoyed because you're always asking them to bring you your phone, water, food etc. "I'm feeding!"

8. When it's 3am and everyone's asleep, bub is screaming down the house but you're busting to go to the toilet so you feed at the same time. (Oh come on, don't judge me!)

9. When you try pump whilst in the car, trying to be discrete with a towel over your chest so all the truckies don't get a flash and then not realising you've split the milk all over yourself.

10. Those days when you're at a cafe and bub has been difficult so you say "I don't give a s*** who sees my boob!!"

Guess which boob is Rex's favourite?

11. Making bets with your partner whether they'll skull a mouthful of your milk and then they actually like it so they'll take a swig at it when ever there's a bottle laying around.

12. Spraying your partner in the face whilst they're sleeping.

13. Using it in someones coffee. (I haven't yet, but it's on my to do list *muhaha)

14. Telling strangers you've got breastfeeding down pat but in reality you're thinking "what am I doing?"

15. Getting mastitis and feeling like your whole world is collapsing then after it passes you think you're invincible! I swear it's worse than labour. Not that I really remember my labour.

16. Feeling like you want to yell at all the rude nurses giving you lactation advice that still isn't working.

17. Thinking "is there any milk even coming out?"

18. Then watching your bub get flooded with milk after a let down. "I'm magic!!!"

19. Telling everyone when you're having a let down or your boobs hurt.

20. Never thought I'd be proud of being called a cow.

21. Confused as to why people are so against feeding in public. It's bloody brilliant! I think men are just jealous they couldn't keep a set of boobs to themselves for their whole life.

22. When your partner wants to play with your new big boobs but you give him the death stare because you have cracked, bleeding nipples. And possibly because we've forgotten to have lunch #hangry

23. Trying to have a conversation or need to eat so you just pop them on the boob.

24. Sick of wearing bras that look like your grandma would own!!

25. The thought of preparing formula sounds so difficult. Boobs are just so … there!

26. Only buying tops you can pull down to feed, then realising you can just pull up your top to feed.

27. Leaving your boobs white when using fake tan. They really do look like headlights!

28. Going for a hike, feed whilst walking, why not?!

29. How cute do they look with our milk mo's?!!!!!!!

30. If only I knew what I know now that very first week!

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Steph Ricciardi said...

You need to check out Hot Milk and You Lingerie!!! No granny bras there! Also checkout Bun Maternity and Cadenshae for some awesome simple breastfeeding tops!

Elisha said...

My son did this to my boobs, they have never been the same (but I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat).

hope jones said...

Omg this is brilliant! Could totally relate sooo funny :)

AnaMia said...

Great post, totally relate to #24 -_-

Anonymous said...

Classic list! 6 months in and I'm getting sad at the prospect of her last feed one day despite once wishing for that day in those first few months!!
M x